Life to me is something that is full of energy, full of aspiration, dreams and many things that could be achieve. Yeah, that was me when I was in my early 20s. Career was always my priority and my dream was to be a DN (Director in Nursing). Everything was smooth sailing and at the age of 28, I was considered to be young to be groomed as a Nurse coordinator/ deputizing when my manager was not around. Even when I was not feeling well, I still went to work, trying to put my best in work.
However, everything changed when I conceived.
Family became priority and because of family, I changed jobs that offered a stable office hours and weekends off. I was so used not to take leave when I was sick but this changed when I became a parent. Just a cough from my little one would send me to the Doc and get a childcare leave, just to be with her. Work became 2nd priority.
Now as the three of them grow up, work become important again. I feel that there was so much lost, that I could do. It is the personal achievement or satisfaction I was seeking for my gratification.
But I also know that I have to let go certain things. I don’t think I will be so yearning to be on the top of the corporate ladder. I am fine to take on assignments which I think is challenging. But I am more keen to get myself back to hobbies I will love to do, such as crocheting, photography, cooking.
I hope I have more energy to channel for those hobbies though. It’s time to do so….
I have been participating in a blogging community which encourage us to take a step in visiting other blogger’s blog and leave comments if we can share their sentiments. Well, WordPress reader enables us to search for blogs and I decided to type in words like “nurse”, “Blythe”, “parenting” and more and hopes to read other’s experiences. One of the words I typed was Singapore and it churned out a number of entires with the word Singapore on it. It led me to a reader’s blog, Alexander who is currently studying in Singapore.
He left his comments and told me he like my “about me” section as I have multiple roles to play and commented this…
“we play so many roles in our so complex world, that it’s important not lose your Self behind these roles”
This left me thinking over last night and indeed, it nailed into my heart. Sometimes, while performing the roles, I have dilemmas and sandwiched between or even among the roles. I have to weigh the pros and cons and settle for the best one which in turn, would override some of my principles and family values and start having conflicts.
Self? I lost it.
Hubby always reminded me of our family values and principles, but on the other hand, I have my parents. Really, it’s hard to say out at times, I am still learning how to be more assertive and maintain myself (which can be very difficult and situations are tricky).
With 2016 kicking in real soon, I think I must prepare myself mentally for my kids who are going to the pre-primary levels. I always heard from my friends, once the kids start to reach 5 years old and above, it meant the toddler / child experience is over. Welcome to the children (age 5 -12) stage. I assumed that this stage will be full of “I can do myself”, “why is it like this?”, “because….” a lot of interactive and meaningful conversation among us. This means I have to cut down my phone usage and be their listening friends and learn things together with them.
Ien will have another year to reach 5 years old….but already, he questions a lot.
Time for me to research on these ages level so that I can relate better to them. 😀
YEah! I am so thankful of the results I got for my module.
I would like to have a better time management and do more readings for my next module.