Bickering is always a common happening in relationship. Be it with partner, parents, siblings or friends.
I used to be defensive or even try to argue hard to win my point but more than ever, I found myself more angry, unable to catch breath in between due to my blood pressure shooting sky high and my heart pumping faster due to the fight/flight response.
As I got older, especially I have kids, I found myself mellowed down. Nowadays, when there is a bickering session going on, I just shut myself up by literally not responding to the words that flew into my ears. Instead, looking around by surrounding helps and calms me down.
I bet most of us agree that bickering allows points to get across to the other and make known that this…this…that.. that is happening and I don’t like…..and this is the real thing that is bothering the other person.
Hence, I would usually listen…keep my cool…and after the person has simmered down, then it’s discussion time.
This would be a better way to solve the issue rather than having two or more people bickering. Everyone argues, no one cares to listen! Problems not solved and it just gets piled up under the carpet.