Year 2017 & 2018

I was planning about what to do for the year end after Christmas was over. Never did I expect year 2017 to end with a bad note. On 29th morning, we received a call from  2nd bro -in law and mentioned that our big bro- in- law had passed on. It was a surprised call for us as it was too unexpected.

Apparently, he had a seizure on the bus, and while on the way to hospital, he collapsed and CPR was rendered to him. However, the efforts were futile and passed away in the hospital. It was a bad period for the whole family as he was the big- hearted, considerate bro- in- law we had. Not only that, the kids loved him a lot as he was the person who always bought sweets for the kids. Whatever it is, he was known as the Sweet Uncle.

3 days later, another bad news. Grandmother in law passed on. She was 100. The news came to us on the morning of New Year.

As we had attended to bro in law’s funeral, we could not hop onto the other funeral just like that. We had to complete his funeral before going to Grandmother one day after.

In just a period of 7 days, we have to go through 2 entire different rituals for the family members.

As Grandmother passed on in the same week as the wake and funeral procession, it was coincidentally OH for my school. The energy I had have to spill over as we had to work during the weekend too. It was also the start of the children’s new school days and yeah, I have not even complete their book wrapping then. I had to do it in a rush!

Then the term break starts the following week and it went on and on…..

There, the super flu bug was awaiting for me. I got it! And now it has spread to my children.

While I am typing this entry, my kids had just settled down after the Dr’s visit. Their high fever was quite persistent even with Paracetamol. So I am on child care leave today to make sure they are ok before going back to school tomorrow.

Very COINCIDENTALLY, it’s both my mother & my birthday today!

Happy birthday to me & my mother!!

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20 vs 30 vs 40 vs 50

While teaching Professional Practice and came across a topic on death… the quality of life… it really is a perspective which relates to age very much. When I was 20, I did not think much but just looking into a new chapter of discovery of life, setting up family, having my own house, crafting a career. When I was 30, it was all about breast milk vs formula feeding, checking out milestones of kids and yes, career is still a part and parcel of life. Hearing from friends about their 40s lifestyle… it seems that everything is all about families and death…. kids are still the topic but less emphasis. Career- have or not is less of a priority as long as one is contented and enough to sustain the family. Those in their 50s are more of finding a niche in the family, hoping their children have more time for them and also having more of their “me” time, re-discovering of new interests, etc and social life. Career is nothing coz that’s also the time where organisation will not place much emphasis on this category of workers.

Life- focus on your family. Focus on yourselves. Work is work, no one is indispensable. At the end of the career, it’s your family whom you want to spend time with. If most part of your family life is spent on work, your family members will not see you as being part of their life.

#lifephilosophy #selfreflectionoflife

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Night thoughts

How I wish I can finish reading up my papers and write my 6000 words assignment. Complete it and that is it. I want to simply enjoy my nov-jan months as it consists of anniversaries, birthdays and Xmas + new year day!

Taking a distance learning programme is definitely tough. Though everyone will think it’s relatively easy but the discipline part is the toughest. No contact hours but requires you to read up articles per week and well, the most dreadful thing is when you fall sick (which currently I am nursing a flu) and the deadline is just 8 days away.

I have emailed my lecturer to inform him about the state I am in. Feeling a bit feverish and a painful throat. I am prepared to lost the 5% of the marks but I am really too tired to read through the night. *dismayed* but what Can I do? Housework+ kids minding+work just suck my energy away.

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With compliments

Lately, I have been tasked to post up compliments of our students which were given by the public. You see, they don’t do much task but rather was present in the cubicle and helping out with very basic care and talking to the patients. That won them compliments.

The other day, I was talking to a good friend that she did something for one family and when they wrote a compliment, it was not addressed to her but more of the drs and team.. and such such….

Reflecting on these, it dawned on me that humans 💖 communicating. We yearn to be heard and comforted. We felt we are present in the world. No matter how much a person sweat over the job or put in how many minutes of their life to carry out the job well, perform the task well, they will never get mentioned. Perhaps the bosses appreciate them, but they will always be seen under as a boss’s team. Workers will always be workers but a worker who dare to speaks and speaks well is seen as a different kind.

Many times, I have seen friends who worked hard but don’t speak well, their progression in their career is generally more slower than those who speaks well. It is the EQ that attracts organisations more than IQ.

I am not one who talks or speaks well, i tend to be more task- oriented and completes my job on time, thus explains the stagnation in the job.

But looking at the overall, there is truth to this.

Therefore, I am going to be more vocal and show my aggression…

ok.. that was meant as a joke…

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OOPs- a lapse of 365dayz+thoughts

Ok,I had a lapse of 365dayz due my forgetfulness.
Will try to get it back on course.

For the past week, I have been doing my supervision in the clinical. A brand new batch- new faces and got to know them.
Got my assessment task 1 result back, well, I have to say for a last minute work, the grade is already satisfying to start with. I cannot imagine how it would be for assessment task 2.

I have been looking for things that I enjoyed when I was a teenager…20 years, wow! times flies…I am trying to re-collect the nice memories and hobbies I enjoyed such as crocheting, manga- especially Sailormoon. The graphics when I browsed through the internet just struck my memory byte in me. How I wish I can go back to those times, carefree, not holding as many responsibilities a now.
Dealing with my three kiddos can be very very tiring. The endless nagging, the constant check on them.
Getting my sanity back often is a must. That’s why I have been looking back at things I enjoyed. At least I feel alive!

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Zooming

I just finished my zoom chat with my Prof from Australia. This is my first time using Zoom to meet online and well, it was rather interesting to see my fellow classmates, but only got to see one with video on. The rest either were at work or have switched off their videos.

The meeting started at 3pm, 5pm in Australia. When I started, I have forgotten to put it on mute and my child’s voice and even the dogs bark were captured. It was such a epic moment when my online classmate, Julia commented about the puppies barking away…

The last time I had a meeting online was using Collaborate One… but the university decided to switch to Zoom.

This is for my independent study unit and I have to say it is quite tough. I have to search for articles to conduct a literature review before embarking on my clinical project next semester. :/

Well, Master, Master… I hope to see you soon next year!

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Quitting is to go a long way

Lately, I heard of many friends leaving their organisations. I learnt one lesson from it. Leaving may not be due to unhappiness or conflict. It can also mean one have stayed too long to see much and the job became a mundane thing to do.

Nothing much to learn…. next best thing is to leave, take on another job and continue developing. This is how a person has personal growth and development.

A good leader do not stop good staff from leaving, instead wish them the best to encourage them to grow.

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Meaning of Life

Life to me is something that is full of energy, full of aspiration, dreams and many things that could be achieve. Yeah, that was me when I was in my early 20s. Career was always my priority and my dream was to be a DN (Director in Nursing). Everything was smooth sailing and at the age of 28, I was considered to be young to be groomed as a Nurse coordinator/ deputizing when my manager was not around. Even when I was not feeling well, I still went to work, trying to put my best in work.

However, everything changed when I conceived.

Family became priority and because of family, I changed jobs that offered a stable office hours and weekends off. I was so used not to take leave when I was sick but this changed when I became a parent. Just a cough from my little one would send me to the Doc and get a childcare leave, just to be with her. Work became 2nd priority.

Now as the three of them grow up, work become important again. I feel that there was so much lost, that I could do. It is the personal achievement or satisfaction I was seeking for my gratification.

But I also know that I have to let go certain things. I don’t think I will be so yearning to be on the top of the corporate ladder. I am fine to take on assignments which I think is challenging. But I am more keen to get myself back to hobbies I will love to do, such as crocheting, photography, cooking.

I hope I have more energy to channel for those hobbies though. It’s time to do so….

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Inspired by…. Readers

I have been participating in a blogging community which encourage us to take a step in visiting other blogger’s blog and leave comments if we can share their sentiments. Well, WordPress reader enables us to search for blogs and I decided to type in words like “nurse”, “Blythe”, “parenting” and more and hopes to read other’s experiences. One of the words I typed was Singapore and it churned out a number of entires with the word Singapore on it. It led me to a reader’s blog, Alexander who is currently studying in Singapore.

He left his comments and told me he like my “about me” section as I have multiple roles to play and commented this…

“we play so many roles in our so complex world, that it’s important not lose your Self behind these roles”

This left me thinking over last night and indeed, it nailed into my heart. Sometimes, while performing the roles, I have dilemmas and sandwiched between or even among the roles. I have to weigh the pros and cons and settle for the best one which in turn, would override some of my principles and family values and start having conflicts.

Self? I lost it.

Hubby always reminded me of our family values and principles, but on the other hand, I have my parents. Really, it’s hard to say out at times, I am still learning how to be more assertive and maintain myself (which can be very difficult and situations are tricky).

 

 

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2016

With 2016 kicking in real soon, I think I must prepare myself mentally for my kids who are going to the pre-primary levels. I always heard from my friends, once the kids start to reach 5 years old and above, it meant the toddler / child experience is over. Welcome to the children (age 5 -12) stage. I assumed that this stage will be full of “I can do myself”, “why is it like this?”, “because….” a lot of interactive and meaningful conversation among us. This means I have to cut down my phone usage and be their listening friends and learn things together with them.

Ien will have another year to reach 5 years old….but already, he questions a lot.

Time for me to research on these ages level so that I can relate better to them. 😀

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